"The Last of a Dying Breed"

(We all knew it would take something "inspiring" to get this Blog started again...)

For the better part of the last twelve years, I've woken up each morning listening to the same radio program; a man talking about strippers, farts, pop culture and news from around the world. He gave his opinion, quite blatantly, and didn't care whether or not you agreed. Yet, when I woke up this morning, something felt different. I knew in the back of my mind that come Monday, there would be no Robospanker. There would be no pornstars, no Wheel of Benjy, and no Wack Pack. Today, when Howard Stern signed off, it would be the last time we'd hear The Show on terrestrial radio, a show which was the last of a dying breed.

What so many people never understood was that The Show was something more than just dick and fart jokes. It wasn't just Howard vs. The FCC. It was more than porn stars and strippers. It was a bastion of free speech, and you either got "it", or you didn't. And for those who did, it was a magnificent ride.

I don't necessarily remember when The Show first came to The Edge in Albany, but I remember listening on a walkman on the schoolbus. I remember being drawn to the honesty of the show, where the people there could, and would, "tell it like it is." I found myself amazed by wack packers like Crackhead Bob, Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, Melrose Larry Green and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf and unable to believe that people like these actually existed.

The Show was most notorious for it's FCC fines, it's toilet humor, and for "the corruption of America's Youth." But people forget about the times that the schtick took a backseat to something more serious, and it very simply became a man behind a microphone. Many forget, yet I still remember, the time that Howard talked a suicide jumper down from the George Washington Bridge. Many forget how he calmly reported news of the September 11th attacks to his listeners, as they saw the flames coming from the Twin Towers while they broadcast from their K-Rock Studio, and gave updates as the news came across the wires. Afterwards, Howard stood on the stage at VH1's Concert for New York City afterwards to encourage listeners and viewers to send their support across America. These are the things that get forgotten amidst everything else.

The guest list from the show is a virtual Who's Who for the past 20 years. From politicians, to movie stars and music icons, to crack whores and nutjobs, no person and no topic was off limits. There was a different atmosphere for guests, who didn't have to stick to the standard PR rhetoric. They could loosen up and talk about things that you'd never hear on "Regis and Kelly," and that was accepted as being part of the deal. If you wanted to be a guest on The Show, you couldn't be uptight. You had to put it all on the table and roll with the punches.

But in true variety show fasion, it wasn't all news and interviews. On so many mornings, I heard great acoustic musical performances. "Everlong" by Foo Fighters became an internet classic, as is "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. The Show allowed me to discover so many great comedians I would have never heard, or never bothered to listen to, otherwise. My radio churned out the one-liners from people like Gilbert Gottfried, Mitch Hedberg and Earthquake. There were three different versions of Robert Schimmel in that time: the married Schimmel, the divorced Schimmel, and the re-married (to his daughter's best friend) Schimmel. I nearly drove off the road when I heard Craig Gass's impression of the late Sam Kinison. And it allowed me to develop a deeper appreciation for the comic genius that was Rodney Dangerfield.

And speaking of celebrities, there were all the interviews from Stuttering John Melendez and Gary Garver. I still laugh when I think about Stuttering John interviewing Frank Gifford, asking him if his kids called him "Grandpa." There was the time he asked Martina Navratilova if she hated bananas. And there's the famous clip (which I saw in Government class in High School) where he asked, "D-d-d-d-d-did Governor Clinton use a c-c-c-c-condom?" at the Gennifer Flowers press conference.

One of my favorite episodes was the time that Stuttering John was at Boston University, trying to figure out why Howard wasn't a Distinguished Alum in the College of Communication. He spoke with then-Dean Brent Baker, who suggested that Howard come down to WTBU and "spin some records with the kids." Not satisfied, Stuttering John then walked into The Castle, home to Chancellor John Silber, and started yelling for the Chancellor to come out and talk. Shortly thereafter, he took to the streets to find then-President Jon Westling, whom he called "Wrestling."

I'll never forget the Las Vegas shows...enough said.

During his farewell address to the masses gathered in New York City, Howard referenced an article written on msnbc.com by Helen A.S. Popkin titled "The Last Days of Howard Stern," in which she says that he and his show are "the last of a dying breed." It's true. Broadcasters cannot put the same type of show out that once aired. They are constantly being forced to find new ways and words to describe something considered "obscene." Radio stations aren't willing to take a chance on shows where indecency fines will be levied against them because a host used the word "anal." And it's sad.

Some people say that Howard will lose his audience, and that may, in part, be true. Not every listener is going to follow him to Sirius. I, for one, fully intend to sign up for the ride. But Satellite Radio is still a burgeoning entity and as Howard said on 60 Minutes, his primary concern is to broadcast The Show as he used to do it years ago. He said that he understands that there will be people who will not follow him...he wishes they would, but knows that not everyone will make the trip. That's the nature of the beast though. Some concessions will have to be made.

In closing, thank you Howard, Fred, Robin, Artie and Gary for making me laugh every morning from Monday to Friday, through good times and bad. Thank you for allowing your audience to take a look into your world, and for doing your part to "stick it to The Man." Your show truly is the last of a dying breed.

Thank you so much for the memories. I'll see you in the Promised Land...